My vision of oppositeness

November 29, 2010

Career counseling

I just had four days off work. I had really been looking forward to a holiday with some family time and some “unscheduled” alone-time.  The reality was too many consecutive hours inside my house.

I got very restless. The unplanned time quickly became too much of a good thing. The weird thing is, I know this about myself but I always seem to forget until I’ve crossed over into grumpy slothdom.

Often, in my vision of my future work life, I see myself working from a lovely home office with French doors and a beautiful desk with a gorgeous big monitor. And no commute. However, in my vision, I am dressed, in real clothes, with clean hair and lip gloss and shoes!

If I truly worked at home full-time, I wonder how many days I would go without a shower. Without touching a tube of mascara. Wearing the same plaid housepants and Ugg boots.

At work, I get quite demoralized by the all the meetings and the lack of control over my time. And when I drive in rush-hour traffic, I feel like a moron. Shouldn’t I be able to figure out something better?

So my vision goes to the polar opposite of everything that bugs me.

On Saturday night, I was telling my friend about my weekend restlessness. He said, “I don’t think you’d be cut out to work from home.”  Wait, no, wait!  Sure I am. Look, I’m fine. Everything’s fine. Forget all that stuff I said before. Don’t crumble my vision with reality.

Later, I thought about what he said and accepted that he may be right. Or there may be something in-between. I need to let go of my vision of oppositeness and remember that this process is about finding what is really right for me.

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